Pain
by Wega the blue sun
Summary: Yuria thinks about her life in the gilded prison that is Southern Cross. Last installment in a series of three.


Pain

A Hokuto No Ken fan fic by Wega the blue sun. No copyright infringement is intended, these characters don't belong to me. Just the story belongs to me.

Yuria thinks about her life in the gilded prison that is Southern Cross. The last installment in a series of three.

Shin has brought me to the terrace so I can fully appreciate the grandeur of his latest gift. It's a city of gleaming buildings which reach for the sky. "It's all yours, the city, the people, everything you see ... I made it all for you!" His handsome face glows with pride and he expects me to melt into his arms to thank him for making me queen of Southern Cross, the monument he's built to win my love.

How arrogant of him to think I'd accept this latest offering. Although the city is beautiful beyond anything I've seen since the war obliterated civilization, it serves only as the latest reminder of how cruel and misguided Shin is. As if I didn't know already ...

I've known Shin all my life, he and I and Ken grew up together. And yet, nobody truly knew Shin, for his betrayal took us by surprise. He and Ken were as close as brothers and spent much time together training. Kenshiro never expected his best friend to turn against him, such deceit was inconceivable to his noble soul. But Shin was mad with jealousy of the love Ken and I shared. The day we set out for our journey to find a new home a vicious band of thugs lead by him captured us at the edge of the desert. Shin proclaimed his desire for me and challenged Ken to a fight. Kenshiro was reluctant to break the ancient rule which says that Nanto and Hokuto must never fight and hesitated to battle his friend.

Shin's furious attack easily defeated his unwilling opponent, but this was only the beginning of the suffering. The brutal torture Shin inflicted upon Ken was meant to make me say that I loved him, but I withstood as long as possible. But Ken's agony broke my will and finally I shouted the words the traitor longed to hear. Finally tired of mocking a dying man, Shin dragged me away from Ken's side. The last thing I saw that day was a bloody shape sprawled on the ground. His cries echoed in my ears until I collapsed.

When I came to some time later, my new life as Shin's unwilling companion had begun. I refused food and water until fear of losing his new prize drove Shin to distraction, but then I remembered how Ken had begged me to stay alive for his sake. Even in his dying moments, wracked by fear and pain, he thought only of my safety.

And although I was determined to keep this last promise to Ken, the year I've been forced to live with Shin has exhausted my resources. He doesn't abuse me, he has never even touched me, but his presence is unbearable. Every moment with him recalls the terrible pain Ken had to endure, and I cannot bear to look upon the man who killed my one and only love.

His unending attempts to win my affection only demonstrate further how little insight he possesses. Although he's obsessed with love he fails to understand the true meaning of the emotion. Does he really think I'm shallow enough to forget my fiance over a heap of gems and gold piled at my feet? Am I to whore myself for a fancy gown, a soft bed and lavish meals? How arrogant must a man be to think a woman would forget the murder of her beloved and allow the murderer to step in his place.

But Shin always was arrogant, even as a child he had a high opinion of himself and a low one of others. Nowadays he calls himself King and might makes right is his motto.  
He considers himself the ruler of the wasteland and imposes his brutal will upon all that cross his path. Unable to understand that true wealth isn't found in material possessions, he sends his private army to rob innocent peasants of any valuables they've managed to bring through the terrible war. And if stealing from the poor wasn't bad enough, his Kingsmen also take slaves. I've seen long processions of captives as they line up to be branded like cattle with the Bloody Cross, the crest of Shin's school. Once a proud symbol of a mighty school, the crest now inspires fear and loathing. Blind and oblivious to the death and damage caused on his behalf, Shin rules a realm of misery.

In his deluded state Shin expects me to desire what he finds desirable, but wealth, power and fame mean nothing to me. I long for the true treasures of love and kindness, peace and harmony for all living things. Although I've explained this many times, he refuses to believe me and considers my continued rejection of him a challenge to be overcome. The same Nanto blood that Shin prides himself on also flows in my veins, I too am of legitimate lineage. And yet we might as well come from separate worlds for all we have in common.

Just a few days ago Shin presented me with a silver platter heaped high with precious gems. They glittered seductively in the sun, and so did the eyes of the man who made the offering of the bloodstones. I could only see terrible images in the facets of the jewels and ran from the room, with Shin's angry voice following me. How could I accept such stained gifts, when a kind voice and a gentle touch are all I long for.

My heart aches knowing that people suffer and die on my behalf. What can I do to ease their burden? I'm not allowed to leave the palace, nor does Shin let me out of his sight for long, he jealously guards me like his ill-gotten treasures. I am not a strong woman, I've always depended on the strength of those around me. Without Ken's love, without his presence I feel as if I too am no longer of this world. Only my body remains to observe the madness caused by misdirected love and contempt for humanity.

If I were stronger I'd go to Shin and pretend that his efforts have finally touched my heart. I know he'd eagerly welcome me, for his desire is palpable in the air. And when the opportunity presents itself I'd kill him to avenge the suffering and death of Ken and so many others. Shin deserves to taste the bitterness of betrayal to understand what true pain is.

But I know that these are only dreams borne of rage and sadness, I know they will never come true. I can't bring myself to kill even a wicked man. But I can't go on living like this any longer. Without me Shin has no reason to go on with his mad conquest, and I've decided to deprive him of his motivation. Now is the perfect opportunity. With a few steps I'm standing on the edge of the balcony. The wind whips my long gown and I can hear Shin's voice behind me. He tries to talk me down as he approaches to grab me. Now is the time. "Good-bye Shin" I say and step into emptiness. The rushing air tears the breath from my lips. Ken's sweet face appears in my mind as the ground races towards me, and I know he will be there to meet me in the afterlife. 


End file.
